I just realized it has been well over a year since I have posted on my blog. I'm not sure why the gap in posts except life has been very busy! Over the past year I graduated with my Masters in Counseling, passed my state exam, moved into a new apartment, purchased a new car, started a new job, quit that job, started another new job, took on additional responsibilities with said employer and finally took the plunge after much encouragement from family and friends to start my own private counseling practice.
This is where the faith and fear colliding comes in, when reading the above paragraph I see how God has worked every aspect of my life out, down to even the smallest of details, yet my fears can sometimes overcome the faith I have that God will once again come thru. I'm not sure where the fears come from except that on some level it seems normal to have some fear of failing. I have also thought about what failing may look like and have had to process how I'm going to feel if I do fail. Obviously, I don't go into anything in my life with an outlook of not being successful, but I do put certain expectations and time frames on things that may cause me to think of myself as a failure if things aren't going as I planned them to go....the operative word here is "I." With all the planning in the world I have to keep reminding myself that if God is in what I'm doing and I've earnestly sought His will, He appears to have opened all the doors, then whatever happens is in His control and not mine. There I said it, "I am not in control!" Wow, that's tough when you have a personality that likes to be in control.
So how do I get past the fear when I feel overwhelmed and have negative thoughts cross my mind? I have to constantly remind myself that God plans my steps, His ways are not my ways and everything I do is for a purpose. Sometimes that purpose is for me to rely on Him more and take my concerns directly to Him each step of the way instead of trying to fix it on my own. What I might find unimportant may be the one step I need to take to get to the next place I need to be. One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
I have been blessed beyond measure and more than I will ever deserve, knowing God has it all under control helps me to keep looking to Him to renew my faith and release my fears! If your fears are bigger than your faith right now, remember to turn your fears over to him and He is in control and wants the best for you!
God Bless
