I finally gave up hope!

I'm left with nothing, few personal possessions, no home, no job, my daughter went off to college and nothing to look forward too. It's now January 2008, I've been out of work for 5 months and at this point, just bored and feeling hopeless! I had given up all hope of going to Belize to the be a missionary. I had prayed and prayed, put fleece after fleece out to the Lord to show me what He wanted from my life and NOTHING! I was so frustrated, I felt like my life was at a stand still, no where to move either forward or backward, nothing to even look forward to.

Then it happened not one but two job opportunities, this must be it! The Lord is finally going to put me to work, if I'm not going to the mission field I'll at least be working (or so I thought).

First, my old company called me back, not for the same position and not for even close the money. However, I decided because I really like the person who would be my boss I would go in and talk about what he wanted to offer me. I showed up and as I walked through the company doors immediately I knew it was not where I was suppose to be. At the end of the interview/talk, I told him I couldn't take the job. I wouldn't be able to give 100% because I didn't feel like it was where the Lord wanted me. He totally understood and said a job would always be available to me.

Then a position I had dreamed about since I became a Christian. I had an interview with God's Bible School and College to work in the Academy. I had earned my bachelors in Elementary Education years before and never taught. I wanted to work for GBS and had no idea how to even go about getting on with them. This was where Montessa was going to college so it would be perfect. I could be working where she was going to college and teaching, the thing I wanted to do. I went to the job interview so excited and needless to say I left very disappointed and heart broken. I wasn't offered a position.

Once again NOTHING......Driving home I remember talking to God and at this point begging Him to show me what it was He wanted me to do with my life!!!! Ugh, frustration had completely set in.

That evening I was on IM speaking to Clara, the Wade's daughter who I met when I had visited Belize the previous March. For some reason, I asked her how their school was doing. She said, "mommy wishes the Lord would send us a teacher". I don't think I ever realized they needed a teacher. I finished my conversation with her that evening and said good-bye. I remember asking my aunt to pray that the Lord would open the door if that's where I was supposed to go. The next morning I got a phone call from a lady at my church whose husband was in Belize with the Wades at that time. She said, "David needs you to call him in Belize." I called Belize and David said, "The Wades would like to know if you would come to Belize to teach at their school?" They weren't able to pay me but they could provide an apartment and food. I said yes and asked my aunt to go with me to help, she said, "yes".

Within 2 weeks, we were packed and on our way to Belize, out of the blue going some place I completely didn't expect and with a family I barely knew. God worked everything out, the trip (a young man we met on our Israel trip, "Jaimee" picked us up from the bus station in Michigan and took us to the airport the next morning). The finances, He provided the money we needed for living expenses the entire time we were there because we didn't go under a church, we had to support ourselves. When traveling through Mexico we had no problems, even with the language barrier. God is good....took care of us every step of the way.

It seems as though just when I gave up, lost my faith is when God stepped in. I know His timing is perfect and looking back now I know why I had to wait. If you've given up on a prayer, don't worry He knows all about it. His answer may be No, but it could also be Yes, just not right at this moment. Keep the faith and know He hears you and always wants what's best for you!

My next few post will be about my experience as a missionary in Belize, God did some wonderful things during that time and humbled me as well.....stay tuned!

Our mission is all in God's time!

Prior to Jeff's death our church had decided to do some mission work in the country of Belize. If you are like me I had never heard of Belize and did not know where Belize was prior to going to Israel. That's where we met Robert Thompson, he had a Christian school in Santa Elena, Belize. Shannon at church had been to Belize before and had a heart to do some mission work there. Our church got together and decided we would build a playground for his school. We had great big plans.

Over the months we started having fundraisers to raise enough money to take a trip to Belize and build a playground. This started in April and after Jeff died in June I started feeling a desire to go as a long term missionary to Belize. I'm not sure if it was me trying to run away from my problems, thinking this would help me with my grieving process, or an earnest desire to build the Kingdom of God on foreign soil. Either way God always knows what's best. We had planned to make a trip around Christmas time. This time never worked out so we ended up going in March, only a few of us though. Unfortunately, we were unable to build a playground for too many reasons to list. However, the Lord led us to a family who needed help as well. We were able to help one of the children get enough money to go Florida to see her sister and the college she was wanting to attend.

We met the Wades there and became friends with them. We also traveled to Punta Gorda which was in the far south. This trip would down the road change my life. God was already using people from the Israel trip to make a difference in where my life was heading.

The people in our lives are placed there by God. For whatever reason and sometimes we will never truly know the reasons. Just remember, He is the one who's really in control, all our planning and good intentions will never trump His plans for us if we are in His will.

If you're wondering what His will is for you today, it might not be as easy to figure out. I started with Romans 12:1-2 "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."