Have you ever had a time in your life, weeks, months or even years when you look back and can say, "Wow not much happened then." That would be how I would describe 2005 for my life. That's not necessarily a bad thing because it gave me time to get more comfortable in my skin being a Christian and draw closer to Christ. Hind sight truly is 20/20.
There were two things I specifically remember about 2005, first we got another foster child into our home. His name was Jairus and the most adorable bi-racial 15 month old in the world. He just lit our house up. We all fell in love with him immediately. I was really blessed also because I had a job and boss who appreciated the fact that we were foster parents and NEVER complained if I needed to take him somewhere and needed time off. Jairus was truly a blessing and my hopes were to get to adopt him as well. We got to know his biological family that year and became very close to them, trying to help his mom and grandmother when we could. This was a good thing for our home, it made us feel complete as a family unit.
Secondly, I remember God dealing with me on more personal convictions this year. Now before I go into this I want you to understand, I'm telling this not to try and change you but to show you how God changed me, that's why they are "my convictions". You'll probably think I'm absolutely silly with some of them and I'm not even going to tell them all, but this was my way of knowing God was speaking to me and I was on the right track with Him. Like I said in an earlier post too many times we say, "God hasn't spoken to me", but it's really we aren't listening closely enough. His word says, "Be still, and know that I am God". Psalm 46:10.
In today's world we have a difficult time turning off the TV, cell phone, computer or sitting aside the laundry, dishes, cooking and any other thing we have going on to just sit and meditate on God's word. I made sure to do this in 2005, so I started reading my Bible and my goal was to read it in a year, which I did and painstakingly during some of the Old Testament "begats". Through reading and praying I did hear God guide my life and sometimes He would ask me to give something up, like jewelry. Trust me, I wanted to make sure I was hearing God, so I searched the scriptures and found in I Timothy 2:9 this scripture, "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array." That was enough for me to take it off.
Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I also have to find something out for myself, I don't trust everything I hear behind a pulpit, and I'm surely not changing who I am or what I'm doing without doing my own research and praying about it first. I've been told, what we give up for man we will eventually take back, what we give up for God will be difficult to take back. So before you ask in your head, well her church must have required it, they didn't and it was never preached behind the pulpit. There is also nothing legalistic about what I did. I allowed God to be number one in my life and with that, whatever was pleasing to Him, was what I wanted to do. I gave up certain TV shows, movies,music, make-up (that was a really hard one, I cried for days!)and clothes along the way during this year, but looking back I know why I had too. In future post you'll understand why I needed to be as close to God as I could get.
Again, I'm not trying to be a theologian, but you also need to understand who I am as a person to understand why I made the choices I have made over the years. Otherwise, in later post you'll really think I went over the edge, but have faith I am the most sane person in the world. The thing is, I BELIEVE THE BIBLE, I can not say it any louder. I also fear God, not in a fist in the air waiting to hit me if I mess up fear, but a reverence fear that He is God almighty, creator of the universe. I'll also never tell anyone, I'm going to Heaven because I don't wear make up, that would just be silly. I'm going to Heaven because I have been obedient and want what God wants in my life more than what I want. I also make it my daily task to make myself pleasing to Him, just like Job did......trust me I fail miserably sometimes. But the good news is, He is ALWAYS willing to forgive me if I just ask.
Now for you doubters out there that think God doesn't ask much of us in these days, go read the story of the rich man in Mark chapter 10. It's not about sacrifice it's about our obedience and willingness to love him above all else. He will let us get as close to Him as we wish too, the good thing is He won't drag us along kicking and screaming.
If you already have a relationship with him, you only need to stop and listen to what He is saying.....test Him if you're unsure it's Him speaking. Trust me He will let you know, He wants you to be led into all truth, His truth, not man's. If you don't have a relationship with Him, what are you waiting for, we are never promised tomorrow and He's just waiting for you to invite Him in.
Blessings!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Till death do us part!
I would sound ungrateful if I didn't give God all the praise for how well my Christian walk had been going up to this point. I remember even standing up and testifying at church one Sunday that I felt guilty because God had been so good to me. He had answered every prayer request I had asked for, well except for one, a major one. We had decided to adopt Montessa in early November and then that's when it hit me; I did not want to raise a child in a home where her parents were not married. I knew this was a sore subject to Jeff as I had stated in an earlier post, marriage to him was just a piece of paper. I mean really he still acted as though we were married, introduced me as his wife and so on. However, I knew it still wasn't the same. I also said God hadn't really dealt with me on it either, until now. It was mid November and I remember getting this very heavy feeling about us not being married, so I started praying and I'm sure others at my church were praying as well. Jeff had also came home after seeing his father on a couple of occasions and told me his father was telling him we were living in sin. As far as I could tell he just laughed it off.
One Sunday after church, I was supposed to go to a baby shower but instead I had this overwhelming feeling to just go home. Jeff was at home and I had left Montessa at my aunts, where we usually had lunch after church. I walked in the door at home and as soon as I saw Jeff I started crying uncontrollably and I didn't even really know why. Then I heard myself say it, "I don't mean to put pressure on you but we need to get married, I don't want to raise Montessa letting her thinks it's okay to live like we are." It was strange, a statement that I hadn't spoken nor really thought about for years, we had been living together since 2000 with no issue what so ever about getting remarried, then out of my mouth this.
I thought for sure he was going to tell me to pack my bags, but he didn't! In the most calm way, he said, "well I guess you better plan a wedding, let me know when, where and what time and I'll be there." I know my mouth had to have hit the floor, how could this be. This man had wanted nothing to do with marriage, life was going good as it was in his eyes. My only explanation is that God changed Jeff's heart! I hadn't, I had not even spoken about it afraid of the outcome, but God knew his heart and He must have been speaking to Jeff.
So as a surprise to our family on the day we adopted Montessa we left the adoption and went to the courthouse and obtained our marriage license. We were married a month later at my church.
I was speaking to a friend not to long ago and she was telling me how she really wanted a baby, but her husband had said they weren't ready yet. I told her if her desire was to have children, first is there ever really a perfect time to do it and secondly, God could change her husband's heart. I told her to just pray that God would change how he felt about having children. I'm not sure if that's what she did, but I started praying that for them as well. I recently found out that they are now planning on starting a family in the very near future, her husband changed his mind =) God loves us and wants us to be happy, is there something you want for your life that God would desire for you as well? Is someone or something holding you back, pray about it and believe God can do anything because He can and see what miracles happen in your life!
One Sunday after church, I was supposed to go to a baby shower but instead I had this overwhelming feeling to just go home. Jeff was at home and I had left Montessa at my aunts, where we usually had lunch after church. I walked in the door at home and as soon as I saw Jeff I started crying uncontrollably and I didn't even really know why. Then I heard myself say it, "I don't mean to put pressure on you but we need to get married, I don't want to raise Montessa letting her thinks it's okay to live like we are." It was strange, a statement that I hadn't spoken nor really thought about for years, we had been living together since 2000 with no issue what so ever about getting remarried, then out of my mouth this.
I thought for sure he was going to tell me to pack my bags, but he didn't! In the most calm way, he said, "well I guess you better plan a wedding, let me know when, where and what time and I'll be there." I know my mouth had to have hit the floor, how could this be. This man had wanted nothing to do with marriage, life was going good as it was in his eyes. My only explanation is that God changed Jeff's heart! I hadn't, I had not even spoken about it afraid of the outcome, but God knew his heart and He must have been speaking to Jeff.
So as a surprise to our family on the day we adopted Montessa we left the adoption and went to the courthouse and obtained our marriage license. We were married a month later at my church.
I was speaking to a friend not to long ago and she was telling me how she really wanted a baby, but her husband had said they weren't ready yet. I told her if her desire was to have children, first is there ever really a perfect time to do it and secondly, God could change her husband's heart. I told her to just pray that God would change how he felt about having children. I'm not sure if that's what she did, but I started praying that for them as well. I recently found out that they are now planning on starting a family in the very near future, her husband changed his mind =) God loves us and wants us to be happy, is there something you want for your life that God would desire for you as well? Is someone or something holding you back, pray about it and believe God can do anything because He can and see what miracles happen in your life!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
If they call back, we'll say yes!
Up to this point I haven't spoken much of mine and Jeff's experience being foster parents. We started this process long before I even thought about going to church. However, I can't get to the next step without updating you on this important part of our lives.
I'm going to take a second however to get on my "soap box". I'm sure most of you have heard many a bad story about foster parents and how poorly they treat children. Well that's the problem, our society only speaks of the bad apples in a group. Our experience was nothing but loving people giving their time, homes and yes believe it or not money, to help children that were not theirs and probably never would be. I always love how people automatically assume that people foster for the money. Just so you know the money is about the cost to feed a family of 4 a day at McDonald's. Definitely NOT enough to rearrange your life at the drop of a hat for. There are not enough good people out there doing their part either. There are hundreds of children with no one, and very few homes to put them in. (OK, off my soap box now)
So sometime in 2002, Jeff and I had decided to become foster parents. We had no children of our own and had no intention of having any, (don't judge). That was truly the one thing we both agreed upon, neither of us wanted to have children. We both wanted to help the children already in the world who had no one. So we went through the hours of training, home studies, background checks, interviews and all that goes along with the process. We were finally approved almost a year later.
We only wanted young children, we had heard horror stories about the teenagers. We didn't care about anything else, but our age limit was around seven years old and younger. We received our first child in the summer of 2004, Tyler, he was with us for a while and we both got very attached. Jeff was devastated when he left to go live with his mother, he said, "this is too difficult, I don't want to do this anymore."
Then about a week later we returned home from being out and had a message on the answering machine it said, "we have a 13 year old girl who needs a home for a while until we can find a permanent placement." Jeff said, "delete it, no way." I was standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes and a thought came too me, if they call back tomorrow then we should take her, that means they couldn't find anyone. The chances of that were slim and I thought he would go for it. I asked him if that was okay and he said, "yes." The next afternoon he called me at work and told me to call them they had called back. That Friday night in August we picked Montessa up, she was only going to try it out for the weekend. See if she fit in to our home, she was beautiful and funny and I must say she talked a lot. We loved having her around, and needless to say she never left.
After much prayer and Godly counsel, November 30, 2004, I adopted Montessa. You might be wondering why I said I, well because Jeff and I weren't married and legally we had to be for us both to adopt her, so technically I was her only legal parent. Jeff however always called her his daughter and loved her as if she was always his. Our little family was coming together slowly but surely. I wrote in my scrapbook about the adoption, "Montessa was the child either we chose or God gave us, either way we were blessed. The joy a child should bring came from one who I did not bear." She is, aside from my salvation, the best thing that ever happened to me.
Is God asking you to help someone? I have found the best way to forget about my own problems is to focus on somebody else. If there's something you want to do to help someone pray about it, God will show you exactly how to do it.
I'm going to take a second however to get on my "soap box". I'm sure most of you have heard many a bad story about foster parents and how poorly they treat children. Well that's the problem, our society only speaks of the bad apples in a group. Our experience was nothing but loving people giving their time, homes and yes believe it or not money, to help children that were not theirs and probably never would be. I always love how people automatically assume that people foster for the money. Just so you know the money is about the cost to feed a family of 4 a day at McDonald's. Definitely NOT enough to rearrange your life at the drop of a hat for. There are not enough good people out there doing their part either. There are hundreds of children with no one, and very few homes to put them in. (OK, off my soap box now)
So sometime in 2002, Jeff and I had decided to become foster parents. We had no children of our own and had no intention of having any, (don't judge). That was truly the one thing we both agreed upon, neither of us wanted to have children. We both wanted to help the children already in the world who had no one. So we went through the hours of training, home studies, background checks, interviews and all that goes along with the process. We were finally approved almost a year later.
We only wanted young children, we had heard horror stories about the teenagers. We didn't care about anything else, but our age limit was around seven years old and younger. We received our first child in the summer of 2004, Tyler, he was with us for a while and we both got very attached. Jeff was devastated when he left to go live with his mother, he said, "this is too difficult, I don't want to do this anymore."
Then about a week later we returned home from being out and had a message on the answering machine it said, "we have a 13 year old girl who needs a home for a while until we can find a permanent placement." Jeff said, "delete it, no way." I was standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes and a thought came too me, if they call back tomorrow then we should take her, that means they couldn't find anyone. The chances of that were slim and I thought he would go for it. I asked him if that was okay and he said, "yes." The next afternoon he called me at work and told me to call them they had called back. That Friday night in August we picked Montessa up, she was only going to try it out for the weekend. See if she fit in to our home, she was beautiful and funny and I must say she talked a lot. We loved having her around, and needless to say she never left.
After much prayer and Godly counsel, November 30, 2004, I adopted Montessa. You might be wondering why I said I, well because Jeff and I weren't married and legally we had to be for us both to adopt her, so technically I was her only legal parent. Jeff however always called her his daughter and loved her as if she was always his. Our little family was coming together slowly but surely. I wrote in my scrapbook about the adoption, "Montessa was the child either we chose or God gave us, either way we were blessed. The joy a child should bring came from one who I did not bear." She is, aside from my salvation, the best thing that ever happened to me.
Is God asking you to help someone? I have found the best way to forget about my own problems is to focus on somebody else. If there's something you want to do to help someone pray about it, God will show you exactly how to do it.
Monday, July 12, 2010
What is that?
I'm not going to attempt to be a theologian in this post, however, I need to explain the next major event in my Christian experience with a little Bible story. I'm sure many of you have heard the story of Job, "And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?" Job 1:8. Have you ever really thought about Job and his life, I mean this man had it all, money, home, family that loved him, a huge farm (at least what we would think of today). He was set, living the life and living a good life serving the Lord. No this is Old Testament so Jesus hadn't come upon the scene yet, sins had to be forgiven via sacrafices, which I'm sure Job did whenever they were needed. Job was so good that God actually brought him up to Satan, you see Satan thought Job was only serving God because He had blessed him so much, little did he know that was NOT why Job was serving the one true God. Job was serving God because he loved him and wanted to be pleasing to God, that's why God said he was upright, perfect, feared Him and escheweth evil. God knew Job's heart and exactly why he was serving him, Satan however didn't. In case you don't know the story, Job lost it all, children, farm, got sick, Satan could do whatever he wanted to Job short of killing him and he did.
Job had what we call today surrendered everything to God, his life, family, home, job, finances, health all of it none of it was his and he knew it. Even after God took it all away Job NEVER turned his back on God, which was what Satan thought he would do.
I said all that to say this, I had been traveling for work and for some reason that week was when God had started really dealing with me on giving Him everything in my life. He just didn't want me on Sundays, He wanted me 24/7. Not only me, but everything I loved and cared about, oh he wanted that too.
I remember being out to dinner with some of my co-workers from California and questioning whether I should pray over my meal in front of them. I tried to tell myself that I didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable, but really it was I who felt uncomfortable. It seems funny today to have struggled over something such as thanking the Lord for my food in front of others, but at that time it was a issue for me.
After I returned home from my trip I remember driving to church on Sunday morning and all the way there the Lord speaking to me, I want it all. If your ashamed to pray in front of others I don't have it all and I want it all. By the time I made it to the church doors I knew what I had to do. You see, I could have just as easily brushed it off and said oh Lord you have it all, I just didn't want to offend anyone with my public prayer. I knew that He didn't have it all and if I wanted to go any further, I was going to have to make that choice that morning and give it to Him. Before Aunt Carol gave an invitation to the altar after she finished her sermon that morning, I was already there. It wouldn't have matter what was happening that morning I knew I had to totally surrender my life and everything about it to God and trust He was going to take care of me.
I got up from the altar and Aunt Carol knew exactly what I had been there for and her words were so profound and scary at the same time, she said, "Now is when your trials will come." I didn't really understand it at the time, but completely understand it today. I hope through my next few posts you'll understand also what it means to totally surrender your life to Christ, mean it with your whole being and watch Him work in your life like I have.
A thought for today, are you ashamed of Him? Are you trying not to offend others and not truly serving Christ the way you should be because of it? If so, you need to pray the Lord help you to surrender it all to Him, because let's face it, it's all His anyway.
If you want to know how the story ended, I suggest you read the book of Job, God is always faithful to His Children.
Job had what we call today surrendered everything to God, his life, family, home, job, finances, health all of it none of it was his and he knew it. Even after God took it all away Job NEVER turned his back on God, which was what Satan thought he would do.
I said all that to say this, I had been traveling for work and for some reason that week was when God had started really dealing with me on giving Him everything in my life. He just didn't want me on Sundays, He wanted me 24/7. Not only me, but everything I loved and cared about, oh he wanted that too.
I remember being out to dinner with some of my co-workers from California and questioning whether I should pray over my meal in front of them. I tried to tell myself that I didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable, but really it was I who felt uncomfortable. It seems funny today to have struggled over something such as thanking the Lord for my food in front of others, but at that time it was a issue for me.
After I returned home from my trip I remember driving to church on Sunday morning and all the way there the Lord speaking to me, I want it all. If your ashamed to pray in front of others I don't have it all and I want it all. By the time I made it to the church doors I knew what I had to do. You see, I could have just as easily brushed it off and said oh Lord you have it all, I just didn't want to offend anyone with my public prayer. I knew that He didn't have it all and if I wanted to go any further, I was going to have to make that choice that morning and give it to Him. Before Aunt Carol gave an invitation to the altar after she finished her sermon that morning, I was already there. It wouldn't have matter what was happening that morning I knew I had to totally surrender my life and everything about it to God and trust He was going to take care of me.
I got up from the altar and Aunt Carol knew exactly what I had been there for and her words were so profound and scary at the same time, she said, "Now is when your trials will come." I didn't really understand it at the time, but completely understand it today. I hope through my next few posts you'll understand also what it means to totally surrender your life to Christ, mean it with your whole being and watch Him work in your life like I have.
A thought for today, are you ashamed of Him? Are you trying not to offend others and not truly serving Christ the way you should be because of it? If so, you need to pray the Lord help you to surrender it all to Him, because let's face it, it's all His anyway.
If you want to know how the story ended, I suggest you read the book of Job, God is always faithful to His Children.
Friday, July 9, 2010
You want me to do what?
By August I had become a permanent fixture at church, soaking up as much as I could and also trying to read my Bible. God had even dealt with me on some issues in my life and I started making decisions to draw as close to Him as I could. Doing everything He asked me to do wasn't always difficult, so I admit there were some things easy to give up. It seemed like my foul mouth cleaned up pretty quickly, obviously I didn't know much but I knew enough that a Christian shouldn't be out their cussing like a sailor. There is nothing about it that would glorify God. Also, drinking alcohol was pretty simple, I was mainly a social drinker anyways so no love lost when I decided to put my wine glass down for good. No need to remind me I was still living with a man I was not currently married too but for some reason that wasn't what God dealt with me on right away. Trust me though if there is sin in your life, He will deal with you on it eventually.
So come August I was sitting in church and on a Sunday morning after service my Aunt Carol (my pastor) came to me and said, "You need to think about getting baptized." I must have had a look of anger, fear or just downright "yea right" on my face because she pretty quickly dropped the subject. Funny, I gave up little things along the way and the one thing that was essential I immediately said no too. I'm not even sure to this day why, I just remember thinking, really, haven't I already done enough? The funny thing was I was not the only one going threw the same thing, my friend Traci had also gotten recently saved at another church and her pastor had said the same thing to her. Just like me she had a very similar thought. We had meet for breakfast one morning and the subject came up, it was almost ironic how similar our stories were. God kinda used us to talk each other into it. We both agreed however if we were going to get baptized and make that kind of statement we were gonna do it just like Jesus did, in the creek (ok Jesus did it in the Jordan River), but I really wasn't feeling the Ohio River and couldn't afford to fly off to Israel (that would come later), I was feeling more like Four Mile Creek was more my speed. On September 12th, 2004, I made my proclamation to the world that I was and was going to continue to serve Christ along side my friend Traci and two others.
God is always speaking to us,it's a matter of if we are listening and want to hear what He is saying. Sometimes it might seem easier to put our hands over our ears and hum so we can't hear Him. He is a gracious God, He will never force us to do something, and no different than children being obedient to their parents just because they love them, how much more should we want to be obedient to an almighty God who wants and gives the very best to us.
Do you have your hands over your ears humming loudly today, trying to keep God from speaking to you? Before long He might just quit, is that the better option, I hope that's not what you think because I want to always listen to Him and try to live the way He wants me to live.
So come August I was sitting in church and on a Sunday morning after service my Aunt Carol (my pastor) came to me and said, "You need to think about getting baptized." I must have had a look of anger, fear or just downright "yea right" on my face because she pretty quickly dropped the subject. Funny, I gave up little things along the way and the one thing that was essential I immediately said no too. I'm not even sure to this day why, I just remember thinking, really, haven't I already done enough? The funny thing was I was not the only one going threw the same thing, my friend Traci had also gotten recently saved at another church and her pastor had said the same thing to her. Just like me she had a very similar thought. We had meet for breakfast one morning and the subject came up, it was almost ironic how similar our stories were. God kinda used us to talk each other into it. We both agreed however if we were going to get baptized and make that kind of statement we were gonna do it just like Jesus did, in the creek (ok Jesus did it in the Jordan River), but I really wasn't feeling the Ohio River and couldn't afford to fly off to Israel (that would come later), I was feeling more like Four Mile Creek was more my speed. On September 12th, 2004, I made my proclamation to the world that I was and was going to continue to serve Christ along side my friend Traci and two others.
God is always speaking to us,it's a matter of if we are listening and want to hear what He is saying. Sometimes it might seem easier to put our hands over our ears and hum so we can't hear Him. He is a gracious God, He will never force us to do something, and no different than children being obedient to their parents just because they love them, how much more should we want to be obedient to an almighty God who wants and gives the very best to us.
Do you have your hands over your ears humming loudly today, trying to keep God from speaking to you? Before long He might just quit, is that the better option, I hope that's not what you think because I want to always listen to Him and try to live the way He wants me to live.
Hmmm, this prayer thing really does work
So life was once again going well, I was now following Christ, attending church regularly, we had a wonderful foster daughter we were taking care of, all was well in my world, well maybe all but one small thing.
I was employed at that time by a mortgage lender as an underwriter, an industry I had been use to for well over 10 years by then. The people were great and it was a really good company to work for. Times were booming in the mortgage industry in 2004. I had good people around me. However, the times also called for doing things and making some decisions I didn't always feel comfortable doing. Along with that I had a difficult time dealing with all the foul language. Funny to me then and even now because let's face it, I had been in the military for six years. I had heard and said every bad word there was. Now it was different, I would literally cringe when I would hear someone cuss. I needed the job so I just couldn't quit because of other people's language so it dawned on me that I could pray for another job. Novel idea huh, Lord I know I'm blessed to have this great paying job with good friends around me, but yeah well it's just not cutting it. I didn't think it was what he wanted me to be doing, so that did it I prayed, the only thing that I knew to do. Now mind you, I prayed, but I didn't go out and start searching for jobs, what was I thinking???
No need to search, within a couple months the Lord answered my prayer, not in the way I thought he would, but exactly in the way He saw fit. (It's a good thing He is all knowing because His answer was a true God send down the road).
I stayed with the same company, however they moved me to another department, a department with a Christian manager none the less. Michele is an amazing woman who I learned so much from and will always be truly grateful too. (You'll know why later). New department and a new position, to be exact a position they actually created so that I could come over. That was the best move I could have ever made, yes it was a pay cut, but it was never about the money, it was about living and working in an atmosphere that God would want me in.
So what are you praying for, is it for a job, home, spouse, child, health, or finances, whatever the case remember God sees the big picture, give it to Him and leave it with Him and He will be sure to work it out exactly the way it needs to be.
I was employed at that time by a mortgage lender as an underwriter, an industry I had been use to for well over 10 years by then. The people were great and it was a really good company to work for. Times were booming in the mortgage industry in 2004. I had good people around me. However, the times also called for doing things and making some decisions I didn't always feel comfortable doing. Along with that I had a difficult time dealing with all the foul language. Funny to me then and even now because let's face it, I had been in the military for six years. I had heard and said every bad word there was. Now it was different, I would literally cringe when I would hear someone cuss. I needed the job so I just couldn't quit because of other people's language so it dawned on me that I could pray for another job. Novel idea huh, Lord I know I'm blessed to have this great paying job with good friends around me, but yeah well it's just not cutting it. I didn't think it was what he wanted me to be doing, so that did it I prayed, the only thing that I knew to do. Now mind you, I prayed, but I didn't go out and start searching for jobs, what was I thinking???
No need to search, within a couple months the Lord answered my prayer, not in the way I thought he would, but exactly in the way He saw fit. (It's a good thing He is all knowing because His answer was a true God send down the road).
I stayed with the same company, however they moved me to another department, a department with a Christian manager none the less. Michele is an amazing woman who I learned so much from and will always be truly grateful too. (You'll know why later). New department and a new position, to be exact a position they actually created so that I could come over. That was the best move I could have ever made, yes it was a pay cut, but it was never about the money, it was about living and working in an atmosphere that God would want me in.
So what are you praying for, is it for a job, home, spouse, child, health, or finances, whatever the case remember God sees the big picture, give it to Him and leave it with Him and He will be sure to work it out exactly the way it needs to be.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The fear of the unknown
So to answer my question, where I left you hanging on to the edge of your seats. What did Jeff think? Well it took me two and a half weeks to actually tell him. Trust me I thought of the scripture found in Luke 9:26 "For whosoever shall be ashamed of me and of my words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he shall come in his own glory, and in his Father's, and of the holy angels" many times. It wasn't that I was ashamed though, it was all those thoughts Satan puts in our head. You're not going have any friends. Your life is going to be boring and the worst for me, Jeff is going to leave you! For me that was the worst possible thing that could have happened, remember my life was good, cushy and running just fine the way it was going.
Well, eventually one evening I decided I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. I had already stood at church and testified to my salvation and to my family. If I was going to continue my walk I had to tell him and accept whatever the consequences would be. So I expected the worst and hoped for the best. All my worrying was for not, either he figured, "no biggie" it was just a phase or he really didn't mind. He was so kind and told me whatever I needed to do when it came to my faith, do it! His one stipulation however was don't ask him to join me.
So there it was, I was free to be me in my Christianity and he had no intentions of leaving me because of it. God took care of my first prayer request and little did I know at the time, He was going to take care of many more in the years to come.
So my question this post is, What's holding you back, the things the enemy is telling you might happen is going to happen, like I suggested? Better yet, is it the loved one you're afraid is going to walk away from you? God is bigger than anything we can imagine and when we take our fears and worries to him, He WILL take care of them.
Well, eventually one evening I decided I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. I had already stood at church and testified to my salvation and to my family. If I was going to continue my walk I had to tell him and accept whatever the consequences would be. So I expected the worst and hoped for the best. All my worrying was for not, either he figured, "no biggie" it was just a phase or he really didn't mind. He was so kind and told me whatever I needed to do when it came to my faith, do it! His one stipulation however was don't ask him to join me.
So there it was, I was free to be me in my Christianity and he had no intentions of leaving me because of it. God took care of my first prayer request and little did I know at the time, He was going to take care of many more in the years to come.
So my question this post is, What's holding you back, the things the enemy is telling you might happen is going to happen, like I suggested? Better yet, is it the loved one you're afraid is going to walk away from you? God is bigger than anything we can imagine and when we take our fears and worries to him, He WILL take care of them.
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