I would sound ungrateful if I didn't give God all the praise for how well my Christian walk had been going up to this point. I remember even standing up and testifying at church one Sunday that I felt guilty because God had been so good to me. He had answered every prayer request I had asked for, well except for one, a major one. We had decided to adopt Montessa in early November and then that's when it hit me; I did not want to raise a child in a home where her parents were not married. I knew this was a sore subject to Jeff as I had stated in an earlier post, marriage to him was just a piece of paper. I mean really he still acted as though we were married, introduced me as his wife and so on. However, I knew it still wasn't the same. I also said God hadn't really dealt with me on it either, until now. It was mid November and I remember getting this very heavy feeling about us not being married, so I started praying and I'm sure others at my church were praying as well. Jeff had also came home after seeing his father on a couple of occasions and told me his father was telling him we were living in sin. As far as I could tell he just laughed it off.
One Sunday after church, I was supposed to go to a baby shower but instead I had this overwhelming feeling to just go home. Jeff was at home and I had left Montessa at my aunts, where we usually had lunch after church. I walked in the door at home and as soon as I saw Jeff I started crying uncontrollably and I didn't even really know why. Then I heard myself say it, "I don't mean to put pressure on you but we need to get married, I don't want to raise Montessa letting her thinks it's okay to live like we are." It was strange, a statement that I hadn't spoken nor really thought about for years, we had been living together since 2000 with no issue what so ever about getting remarried, then out of my mouth this.
I thought for sure he was going to tell me to pack my bags, but he didn't! In the most calm way, he said, "well I guess you better plan a wedding, let me know when, where and what time and I'll be there." I know my mouth had to have hit the floor, how could this be. This man had wanted nothing to do with marriage, life was going good as it was in his eyes. My only explanation is that God changed Jeff's heart! I hadn't, I had not even spoken about it afraid of the outcome, but God knew his heart and He must have been speaking to Jeff.
So as a surprise to our family on the day we adopted Montessa we left the adoption and went to the courthouse and obtained our marriage license. We were married a month later at my church.
I was speaking to a friend not to long ago and she was telling me how she really wanted a baby, but her husband had said they weren't ready yet. I told her if her desire was to have children, first is there ever really a perfect time to do it and secondly, God could change her husband's heart. I told her to just pray that God would change how he felt about having children. I'm not sure if that's what she did, but I started praying that for them as well. I recently found out that they are now planning on starting a family in the very near future, her husband changed his mind =) God loves us and wants us to be happy, is there something you want for your life that God would desire for you as well? Is someone or something holding you back, pray about it and believe God can do anything because He can and see what miracles happen in your life!
No comments:
Post a Comment