Joy!

Joy, a three letter word that seems to turn our life upside down at times. It's difficult to describe it but we know when we don't have it in our lives.

1 Peter 1:8 says, "You have not seen Christ, but still you love him. You cannot see him now, but you believe in him. So you are filled with a joy that cannot be explained, a joy full of glory." This tells me that my joy should come from Christ alone.

How many times have you been having a great day and low and behold someone comes along and just brings you down, just from a few words. You have been robbed of your joy.....people will always disappoint us no matter how much they love us and care for us, we are not perfect and we make mistakes. So placing your "joy" or happiness in the hands of another is a dangerous thing to do. You must find it on your own through Christ and trust Him to help you keep it.

I'm not saying we shouldn't be joyful when good things happen to us, but we should not allow the disappointing things to rob us from our joy. Satan's job is to steal our joy, make us think it's too difficult to be a Christian or just boring. When joy comes from a relationship with Christ then you know you have the joy the Bible speaks about.

Are you joyful in the Lord or joyful in your current circumstance, guaranteed your current circumstance will eventually change and that joy you're holding on to will be gone. The joy of serving Christ however doesn't leave even during the difficult times when you are truly committed to Him.

Gripped by fear

Have you ever been so afraid of something that you don't feel like you can move forward or backward? Your life comes to a stand still. You know you can't go back, however the fear of moving forward is just as difficult to deal with. Life can bring us all types of fears, dying, loving, living, following Christ like we know we should. I have experienced fear in a few of these ways and then a scripture was brought to my mind, as a matter of fact it was so gripping that I wrote it down and stuck it to my mirror. I read it each morning.

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7 Our fear is our own, it is not produced by God it's produced by Satan. If he can get us to fear it will lead to doubt. Maybe I can't do this or I don't deserve that. Maybe I don't have the abilities to accomplish what I want to accomplish. FEAR is of SATAN! We must learn to turn that fear into faith in Christ.

Recently I had a conversation with someone regarding something I just realized I was a little fearful of.....moving on in my personal life. With all that I've been through the thought of losing one more person or something not working out, made me fear even trying. I took it to prayer and asked the person to pray for me about it too. The very next day I didn't fear it anymore, I decided God's will, will be done whether I fear something or not and He doesn't want me to be fearful. So leaving it in His hands and trusting Him is always the best way to defeat satan and fear.....turn to your faith!!

I'll leave you with a funny story about my fear. I desperately fear mice, that's right I said it, mice....I know they are more afraid of me than I am of them. Whatever! I despise them and I don't want to be around them ever!!! A couple of years ago while living with my mother I was in her basement doing laundry. My aunt who also lived in the house came to the middle of the stairs and so politely and calmly informed me that there was a mouse on a "humane sticky trap" under the stairs. Needless to say, I froze, literally. I could not move, I tried and I couldn't move. I was trapped had no place to go and I just knew that mouse was going to get off that trap and run right up my leg. What to do now? So my aunt, who by this time realized it was maybe not such a good idea to inform me of the situation once again in her calm voice told me to jump the bottom stair to get back to the first floor. Logically this made sense, the fear in me said no way that would mean I have to jump over the live mouse! On the count of three, her count, I ran jumped a couple steps and proceeded to plow my aunt down on the stairs trying to get away from the mouse. I made it to safety and within a hour the mouse had pried its way off the sticky trap and hid somewhere in the house.....my fear rose until it was caught!

Now before you judge me think about your own fears, I agree being afraid of a little mouse is a little silly. Is it any more silly than being afraid of a spider, snake, rat or getting a new job or serving Christ? It's still a fear and exactly what God tells us not to do. In our fear we are saying Lord I don't trust you to take care of me and that's what He wants us to do, Trust Him!

God's creation

I was able to take a trip out West this past summer with some friends and family. While planning the trip I realized there were two things I really wanted to do. I wanted to go to the Oklahoma City Bombing Memorial and I wanted to see the Grand Canyon. We loaded the car and headed out for our first stop, Oklahoma City, nearly an 18 hour drive. We were a bit exhausted by the time we arrived for the evening but I was excited that the next day we would be visiting a friends church and then going to the memorial.

I remember the bombing and the day it happened, at the time I was shocked by the event but never really put it into perspective of what it meant. While standing there looking at the reflection pool of the memorial it hit me how fragile life is. I had questions, no doubt not much different than any other person. Why would something like this happen? What were those people who were in or around the building at that time thinking and doing? How has the bombing affected their lives even years later? I wondered if some found Christ through the tragedy? Did some leave Christ after the tragedy, not understanding how a loved one could be taken so quickly. Are some still frightened to be in an office building or if they hear a large noise? We might never know the full impact on those lives that day, but I trust they all were impacted in a large way. It was very surreal to know that in the blink of an eye my own life could be over without warning. With that thought I wondered how my life here on Earth would affect those after I am gone. Did I display Christ to all I came in contact with? Would God say, "enter in thou good and faithful servant?"

After another couple days of driving we made it out to the Grand Canyon. This is the place were I experienced how huge God is and His creation. I take for granted those things that I see every day in nature and it helped me become more aware of the Earth God created for us. It truly was an awe inspiring place, where if given the time, you could have a good conversation with the Lord and feel in His presence and marvel at his master piece.

Two different experiences both of which allowed me to get closer to the Lord. We don't always see the everyday things He gives to us to marvel at because we don't take the time to look. In my busy life I take for granted those small blessings and wait on the big ones that truly impact my life.....that's my loss unfortunately because the small ones are around daily and the big ones only come sporadically.

Have you missed your small blessing today? The child who gave you a hug or smiled at you? The wind blowing, knowing you can feel it but can't see it, just like the Spirit of God. I want to thank Him for each day He gives me and be grateful for all the blessings I have great or small.


"The LORD has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes." Psalms 118:23

God sees the BIG picture!

During the Spring of 2009 I decided I wanted to go back to college to get my Master's Degree in Counseling. I really had no idea how it could even work out for me to go but I figured it couldn't hurt to try. So I applied to the MAC program at Cincinnati Christian University. The application process is out of control, references, essays, paperwork and interviews. I completed the process and had to take a day off work to go to the interview. I was so excited but still unsure if it was what the Lord wanted for me. I began to pray about it and my prayer was if I didn't get into the program I would be okay with it knowing the Lord was in control.

Wow, that's so much easier said than done. I didn't get accepted, I got wait listed, which means if the people they accepted decided not to come I could. That was almost even worse, kind of like your good, but not quite good enough. I pretty much left it alone and was over it in a day or so. I really feel like everything in my life happens for a reason so I just try to not get too upset when I don't "get my way". I'm really glad that He sees the BIG picture.

When I started back to school as you know there were so many changes that I had to deal with I honestly would have NEVER been able to handle Master's classes on top of everything else. The first semester of school was extremely stressful and it would have just added to my stress. Never say God doesn't know what's best for us, He always does and He never gives us more than we can bear!

Come October I received an email letting me know that the school would like for me to apply to the program again if I wanted to. I decided I would try one more time and see what happened. I also prayed that if I was to get accepted the Lord was going to have to take care of the bills, as I don't have the funds to pay for the courses. Needless to say, I got accepted this time, I started taking classes in January and have always had the money to pay for the classes......God always provides!! I'm really enjoying what I'm learning and I know I'll be using this experience down the road to help others as well.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

God is still in the taking care of business, business!

The summer of 2009 came and went, then it was time to return to school. My second year teaching at ACA, a change of curriculum, teaching two grades (5th and 6th) and a blind student. I remember thinking when the principal told me about the challenges I was going to have that school year, "yea right Lord, is this supposed to be funny?" It was truly a challenge in the beginning, my schedule was crazy, I worked most evenings late just to keep caught up, but there is always a reason the Lord brings someone or a difficult situation into our lives and he showed me many times that 1st semester exactly why he placed me in that stressful situation.

After working with Jesse(my blind student)for a month or so and speaking with his mother and some of the people he had in his life helping him adjust to public school, I found out there was a piece of equipment he really needed. This particular piece of equipment was called a BrailleNote and it's cost, oh only between $6,000 and $7,000. I did research online trying to find him a scholarship or a way for the school to obtain this for him and nothing ever worked out. His mother was also trying to find a way to get it for him. Then it hit me, why can't I ask the students in my class to start praying about it for him.

I had been teaching on the power of prayer up to this point during Bible class and I wanted the children to see prayer in action, not only prayer but more specifically their prayers. So, I explained to them what we were in need of about $6,000.00. To them that was like telling the Lord we needed one million, but we started praying. Those children prayed earnestly, never forgetting to pray about it. If I would ask for prayer request inevitably someone would say, "Ms. Williams, don't forget about Jesse's Braillenote."

Throughout this time the children started seeing their own prayers being answered, someone needed to find a lost phone, and a week later the phone was found in a place that had been checked multiple times. He was so excited to come to school that morning and let me know God had let him find his phone. One student's clarinet was broken and had been out for repair for a very long time. She finally asked the class to pray about it and that very day her clarinet was dropped off at the school in working condition.

I went to church and asked my church to pray about the Braillenote as well. I explained to the congregation that as much as I want Jesse to have it, I wanted my students to see God answer their prayer more, so we started praying about it at church as well.

God is always faithful, with a loving heart that will give us our hearts desire if only we ask. One morning around 9 weeks after we started praying the principal pulled me out of class. He said, "Ms. Williams, I just wanted to show you what your students have prayed in and in his hand was a check for $7000, enough for the Braillenote and all the extras Jesse would need to be able to do his work. I asked him if I could take the check in to show the class and of course he agreed. My students went crazy, they were clapping and cheering. God at that moment had showed each student and a lot of adults, that his abilities to do for us are far greater than we can imagine and even more than that He does listen to our prayers and does answer them.

The money came from someone in another state, a foundation that had heard from someone, who was not related to our school, about Jesse's case. They didn't know we had been praying for this need, but God opened their hearts and used them to answer prayers for a classroom of 5th and 6th graders.

You would think by this time that I had seen God work so much in my own life that this shouldn't have been that big a deal for me, it was just another prayer answered. That couldn't be further from the truth......I needed just like those children needed to see God do something big for my students that year, I needed to know God was going to re-enforce to them what I was teaching them and He did!!!

What a mighty God we serve!!!

Getting ahead of God!

The first school year came to a close. It had been a good year and God had provided and helped me with the students in my class. As I began to think about the summer months I had no idea what I was going to do. As it turned out I did not get a paycheck during summer, so I needed to find a summer job and quick! Unfortunately very few companies will hire you for 10 weeks and with the recession in full swing I was totally panicked!

I had spoken to a couple people on campus and told them to let me know if they heard of anyone hiring. One of my friends said, "he knew someone but was unsure of when the job would be available." I had a couple students who needed tutoring a few times a week so I started doing that, this gave me about $100 a week income (try living on that for very long), talk about stretching your money. Some of the weeks they would forget to pay or would cancel, so money I would plan on showed up late or not at all.

I had a couple people give me their tithes during this time, they said they felt the Lord would want them to help one of His own when they were in a tight spot. This money helped me stay caught up. I began to get desperate and didn't know what to do. I called the school and asked them if they had anything that I could do. They did......and now I know why the job was available. I had to call people to update the address list the school had on file, approximately 10,000 families. It was the most boring job I have ever had. A day after I started the job, I got the call that the summer job I had been wanting was now available and I could start immediately. If I would have just waited patiently on the Lord, I wouldn't now have 2 jobs!

As much as I am not someone to back out on something, I did the most uncomfortable thing in the world and quit the calling job. My impatience put me in a difficult, uncomfortable situation, all because I was not patient enough to wait for the Lord to provide. I found out from that specific situation to WAIT, the Lord always has a plan and each summer since He has provided. I have been able to keep that summer job even through the school year.

God has something huge planned for me, but if I do now what I did back then and try to "fix it" myself He'll have to come behind me and correct my mistakes. I have to learn to let my impatience not take over His master plan. If you're wondering if that job, spouse, money or whatever your need is will be coming in.....remember God really doesn't need your help to take care of it, He only needs your willingness to wait and be obedient in what He wants for your life!


Isiah 30:41 "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

Learning how to pray

It's a difficult thing when a relationship ends, whether it be a spouse, friend, family member, co-workers, whatever the case it's never easy just to walk away from people and forget them. My first year at GBS God was trying to show me that I needed to put all my trust in Him. If I needed something financially, I needed to take it to Him. If I needed a friend, I needed to let Him know. When Montessa and I weren't seeing eye to eye, I had to leave the problem with Him.

This is a very difficult lesson to learn, especially for me. I'm a very controlling person. I like to have complete control of situations, my motto, "If you want something done right, do it yourself." Well I'll be the first to admit, that's not a good motto. At some point we will always need someone, we were placed here to help each other and God uses people to answer prayers. However, I believe there are times in our lives when God wants us to F.R.O.G. (Fully Rely On God)!

Over the months I would come to Him with issues or problems, like Lord, how am I gonna afford Christmas or my car insurance is due and I don't have the money. Lord I really want Montessa biological mother to get saved, she needs to know what it's like to serve you. Whatever my issue for the moment I was forced to take it to God. I shouldn't be surprised, but He came through every time.

I was thinking the other day about those times and my times as a Christian. All the prayers God has answered. I was talking to a friend and told him, "Every thing I have ever truly prayed for and needed, God has provided, honestly all my wants as well." He couldn't believe it, but it's true. I have had to trust Him in every aspect in my life.....financially, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and a lot of times even when I was lonely and I felt nobody else in the world cared. Now don't go getting all sad for me, I don't feel that way often and when I do I have learned to take it Jesus. He is the one person I can always go to, even when no physical human being is around.

This has helped me over the years to truly and honestly take the scripture, "Pray without ceasing",1 Thessalonians 5:17, to heart. I tell my students I pray all day, I'm constantly talking to God, even when they wouldn't suspect it. I believe that's what He wants from us, even before telling a friend about our problem, He wants us to tell Him.

It's not an easy thing to learn to pray, I remember growing up and even into my adulthood I used to pray the, "Now I lay me down to sleep, prayer", you know it. Throughout my last few years as a Christian I have really started learning how to pray, I believe God is honoring my prayers because when I pray about it I believe He will take care of it because He has never failed me!

Are you trusting Him for all of your needs, or are you trying to control the situation before handing it off to Him to have to fix what you messed up? If it's given to Him first it will always be done the right way, the first time, God doesn't make mistakes!