The losses continue........they will end soon though!

I've returned to the past, I was able to climb into my time machine and quickly hop back. The year 2006 was pretty much not a good year all around. Come New Years Eve 2007 I thought maybe things would start looking up and they appeared to be. Montessa gave her life to Christ on January 7, 2007. I had pulled her out of Lakota Schools and enrolled her in an online school in order for her to complete her final courses and graduate early from high school. The goal was we would be heading to the mission field and I didn't want her to have to worry about school work. She said not being in public school and helped while she was trying to live for Christ.

I had put my house up for sale in September of 2006 and tons of people came through but never any takers. I was so sure the Lord wanted me to go to the mission field, but I could not go until both of my properties were sold, 4 vehicles, a house full of furniture and anything that was not going to be needed. Over time the vehicles sold and paid off, I had a wonderful friend of Jeff's helping me take care them.

In March, another big loss, Jairus our foster son who had been with us for almost two years went to live with his grandmother permanently. The dream of adopting him was no longer, I'm grateful however that the Lord still allows me to see and speak to him when he is in town. Montessa and I both took it very hard. He was one more part of our family to leave.

Montessa graduated in July a year early from school. She was enjoying her summer and had a fun graduation party where lots of our friends and family attended. Jeff's friends were so wonderful to her. Always there to encourage her along the way.

With still no guidance from the Lord regarding Belize and no bites on my house in August I lost my job! I would say that devastated me but really it was a God send even though it was a little unexpected. I was sure another job would be easy enough to find. By now I was down to 1 home, 1 child, 1 vehicle and slowly but surely an empty house with little furnishings.


I was so unsure as to why my home hadn't sold, I had prayed and prayed. I know everything is in God's timing, but come on Lord I don't have a job now. I had some people over my house one Saturday afternoon, helping my cousin and his family move in with us for a short time since they had sold their house as well. We decided to have a circle prayer right in the middle of my garage for my home to sell. This is how big God is.....Within minutes not even an hour, He sent my realtor to tell me a pastor, who had previously viewed it wanted to purchase it, for what I was asking! I didn't even have to bargain on my price, which I had never lowered for the entire year it was on the market. He paid cash for it, didn't require me to fix anything from the inspection and I never had to make another house payment after I lost my job. By early October, I had sold my home, all the furnishing in it and moved out.

I was gainfully unemployed, semi-homeless (none to call my own), Montessa and I moved into my moms house and stayed in an 8x8 bedroom together, my foster son was back with his family and I had no idea what I was supposed to do......so guess what I did? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING......I tried searching for a job and no luck, I have never been out of a job for longer than 3 weeks, but nothing, even jobs I was well qualified for or under-qualified. My aunt (who also lived with my mom at the time) and I decided to do something instead of sit at home all day so we started working in the soup kitchen at the Salvation Army a couple days a week serving. It was funny, some of the people thought we were working there because we had gotten into trouble and were doing community service. I didn't mind, it was something to do and I felt like we were making a little bit of difference with our spare time.

Then my daughter dropped a bomb, she said, "well mom since it doesn't look like we are going to Belize, I'd like to start college in January." So I moved her to God's Bible School in January of 2008......I was devastated. Although she may never have noticed it was so hard to see her leave even though it was only 40 minutes away. I was now truly all alone! I know I was totally being selfish at that time, I was happy for her to want to go to school, but sad that I had lost something else so precious to me.

God was working in her life and in reality mine too......He had began preparing me in 2005 for the many things I would lose or give up for Him. I would be lying if I said any of it was easy because it wasn't. The majority of it was very painful, but God was always faithful to show me He was still in control. With every answered prayer He was saying, "just be patient, I have something wonderful planned for you, but in my time not yours."

If your going thru a time of loss or a time of uncertainty about what's ahead in the future, remember He has a plan. Let Him work it out in your life and it will be great! While doing so remember and live by the advice in this scripture and it will make it a little easier to wait......Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Psalm 37:4 (This is my favorite Bible verse)